Being A Girl: The Holiday Edition

Sometimes I feel like I failed big time at being a girl. This is magnified at the holidays when I receive the perfect gift from a friend, or read a well-written 2013 year in review. Am I not creative? Am I not thoughtful? Why don't I enjoy decorating? Did I somehow not receive some kind of domestic/baking gene that seemingly 90% of women have? Am I a failure to all woman-kind?

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??

(Sorry too much sugar from a work colleague, who gave me homemade caramels, carefully twisted into lovely brown non-stick wrappers.)

Every holiday season I go to Trader Joe's and buy the biggest poinsettia I can find. It is much prettier and takes up much less room than a Christmas tree. Plus, buying a tree means you have to buy ornaments, and you have to store those somewhere, and Lordy who has time for all of that decorating? (I would totally be one of those people who leaves up their Christmas lights all year if I had a house to decorate.)

Most of the decoration around my place is my Christmas mural, which is the fireplace mantel covered in holiday cards from friends and family. I really love the cards, so keep them coming!

I thought about sending a holiday card this year - especially when my boyfriend grew out his mustache for Movember. Most women with significant others in the Movember or No-shave November movement hate it. I thought it was epic. For one month, I got to live with a handsome hipster man and my boyfriend didn't mind.

I digress. What do I put on a holiday card anyway? As much as I think finishing a half Ironman is a momentous occasion, it seemed wrong to put a picture of a sweaty Suzanne on a card and send it out to all of my friends and family. The proper message for a holiday card seems to be only family related: new baby, what the kids are doing, family vacations, weddings. That's it: no triathlons, no marathons, no new jobs, no we-are-doing-great-living-together-in-sin.

Stop asking us when we are getting married. Happy Holidays!

The thing I like most about the holidays is music. It's the only time when it's okay for American society to admit that they like choral and orchestral music, and further admit that they like Julie Andrew's version of "Favorite Things" better than Carrie Underwood's version. I think it's sad that I have to set my DVR to record St. Olaf Choir's Christmas concert, which is on at 2 AM here. But, at least the good quality, Virgin Mary, baby Jesus in Jerusalem songs are still out there. I'm not religious either. Traditional holiday music is a good, quality reminder that insane commercialism and Black Friday specials are NOT the reason for the season. Whether you are into WWJD or not, find some peace and love in your souls, people.

I went to a fabulous holiday concert sung by my fabulous friends in Resounding Achord. They do a good mix of highly classical selections and they also do some standard Christmas tunes.

Shopping is a chore, and shopping for other people is near impossible. Unless I know you really need something, I don't know what to get you. Furthermore, there is nothing more lifeless and soul sucking than walking 2 miles from the closest parking spot into a mall where, people are become mad, pre-holiday trolls. I've worked retail over the holidays, and let me tell you - the sales people hate the holidays. Contrary to what the holidays should be, customers are rude, pushy, the lie to get deals, and are generally a bunch of a-holes. I tend to go to boutiques and buy fewer things and spend 30% more. Also, thank God for the Internet.

Guess whose credit card information was safe this season? Mine! :)

Once in awhile, I do get the itch to bake. Oh, and when I say itch, I mean it - I am allergic to flour. Not eating flour, but having flour around in the air. It makes my nose and ears itch something awful, and then I start to sneeze all over the kitchen. If you want my sneezed-on cookies, I make exactly two kinds: pumpkin/walnut/raisin, (which no one seems to like except a former neighbor - sad he moved), and chocolate chip.

I can't possibly eat all of the sugary stuff offered to me on a daily basis every day since October. So, why create more?

I made some banana bread. Go me.

Amidst all of this winter/holiday self-loathing, I did do something rather crafty this winter. . .

I was recently convinced that even I can sew a quilt made out of my old race t-shirts. It took two full afternoons, lots of mentoring, and fear of getting my finger poked with a racing needle, but I survived and even made something useful. Will I do it again? Eh, not sure. Aside from the fact that races don't give out cotton t-shirts anymore, I don't know how much patience I have to make sewing a regular thing. Oh, and there also takes so much thought about the process, what fabric to use, patterns... it's mind blowing. I feel the same about knitting. It would be nice to make holiday gifts for friends, but have a hard time sitting for a long time, or working on something so intricate.

I will be a terrible old lady.

Lulu Lessons

As you are all aware, I own a fair amount of Lululemon clothing. I have two pair of black running Capri pants that I wear interchangeably. The oldest pair goes to most events because they are the most comfortable, and I've been wearing them for about seven years. The second pair, I bought two years ago, and the quality is not as good as the first; I am seeing a lot of wear, and there is now a hole in the thigh area. I believe this newest pair was purchased before the "sheer" era, or at least no one has told me that they can see through them. (Or maybe I should say, "Thanks a lot, jerks!"). I may give Lulu's pants another chance, but I'm not going to complain too much about a hole in a pair of pants (on the seam) that I've worn twice a week for two years.

I also like their tops, bras, and my fall/spring jacket with the nifty built in gloves.

The controversies surrounding Lulu in the last few years are upsetting. Part of your job as a CEO or marketing professional is to keep your company profitable, manage customer's expectations, and sell your image. Clearly, they missed out on some opportunities to take some Lemons and make Lemonade.

Here are a few ideas they should have considered that may have helped their image, and their sales:

1.) Make pants with different thicknesses: Some women love sheer pants. We know this because we still see plenty of women wearing them! Why not give those women what they want? Sheer for those who want to show some skin, regular for those of us who want to be able to touch our toes without showing our butt crack, and maybe even a thick pant for those colder months.

2.) Be earth friendly: Lulu could have taken a more earth-mother approach to the sheer pants, and donated the fabric to a worthy organization. I'm sure there is a good humanitarian use for all of that Luon. Maybe mosquito nets for children in Africa?

3.) Don't blame shit on your customers: I see nothing wrong with saying, "We try to create clothing that will be comfortable for most women. We can not make clothing that will be perfect for everyone, but we have many satisfied customers. We are open to suggestions about how to make our clothing better." That's it. Don't mention thighs (especially if you are a male), or say there is nothing wrong with your product. Someone should have given the CEO a speech coach is ultimately the problem here.

4.) Don't let your douche CEO talk on TV: Maybe Chip Wilson is part of the image problem. (Well, he definitely is now, in light of his comments on Bloomberg.) You should get to know someone before you judge who they really are. But, there is truth in stereotypes. Doesn't anyone else think that purchasing women's yoga wear from Chip Wilson sounds a little funny... no? Yes?

5.) Hire Suzanne: These  people should hire me. I have some good ideas. Luon mosquito nets - um, genius. They've tried to get into cycling gear, and haven't made an impact yet. I have some ideas.

Ok Seriously though . . .

Lululemon's CEO, Chip Wilson, kind of seems like a douche. But, I still like LLL clothing. Michael Jackson's questionable lifestyle never deterred me from listening to his music, and I would be sad to lose "Bad" or "Smooth Criminal" on my iPod mix. I've decided to continue to wear luon.

Companies definitely need to keep their products awesome and their image clean in order to be popular with the public. But, ultimately, remember folks: Companies do NOT have an obligation to meet every person's fit criteria, or to fit every body type. They are out there to make money, and they have to pick a target market. If you don't like them, or they don't fit you - don't wear them.

Love your body. Find a brand that fits you well.

P.S.
My thighs rub together too.

Reset button

There is a reason the reset button exists. The button was invented for your safety; it was invented so you don't electrocute or burn yourself. The reset button can be frustrating, and can cause panic. That moment of panic when you realize your appliance isn't working and you go through a moment of, "Why the hell isn't this thing working anymore!? It worked just fine yesterday!" before you realize with a gentle push of the button, things start working properly again.

Last Friday, I got out of the office for an hour to run 6 miles and felt like I was going to lose my lunch, or pop a knee cap or something. Maybe it was the gin martini (or two) I drank the night before, or the Chipotle burrito. Ugh. I felt so belch-y. It is amazing that you can spend months on building up your fitness, then it takes, er, about a month and you seem to lose it completely.

The past few weeks have been tough. Since February I've been on the up and up, improving weekly, feeling sore in a good way, and growing a lot. After the Chicago marathon I took a week off, and just haven't gotten back into things like I was hoping to. Problemo numero uno is that I have no immediate fitness goals this winter besides just keeping up with things so it's not too hard to kick butt early next spring. I don't feel it is necessary to be spending two or more hours a day training this winter. Second, I feel like I should be giving my body a break anyway. Third, it is darker and colder and I have less motivation. And finally . . .

I thought gluttony and lethargy was something people enjoy . . .

It feels pretty terrible.

I just returned from a few days visiting my parents in Arizona. I got in a 3 mile treadmill run, a little core workout, another 6 mile run outside in 83 degree heat (5:30 at night!), and a short swim. (Digression: I've been looking for help with my swim stroke, and guess who helped - my dad. Sheesh, he was right there the whole time!)

Now that I'm back in my routine at home - It is time to set the reset button. I'm not exactly sure what next year has in store for me, but I'm just happier when I'm moving. It's never too late to start training for Wildflower (in May). Maybe I'll do the long course . . .

Signs of Winter

New Calendar
Seriously, even with my job as a professional scheduler/organizer, I still can't get myself into the 21st century, and prefer to scratch personal meetings and other tidbits on a paper organizer. Typically not the flowery type, I received a Vera Bradley organizer for my birthday four years ago, and now I buy one every year. This year the store at Santana Row didn't have any!! I thought, "Clearly this is a sign that I should join the digital age." Disaster averted, I found one online (note the irony). Here's to another year on paper!

Closet Reorganization
Last Sunday I skipped the workout, and reorganized my closet. It is time to put the summer clothes away, and start a Goodwill bag for those items not used in the past season, or anything (mostly shoes) that are toast from over-wear. Then, it is time to assess if I am thrilled with any of my fall/winter clothes from last year. If I were to put as much effort into my regular clothing as I am in triathlon gear, we'd be in business. For some reason I am proud when I need a new pair of running shoes, but completely irritated when I have to buy a new pair of heels or ballet flats for work. I think it's because the length of my pant legs are dependent on the shoe and heel. So, new shoes might mean new pants. It's all downhill from there.

Speaking of shoes. I think my feet have shrunk. At least the right one. Is this possible, or are shoe sizes getting larger?

Bike Trainer
I bought a bike trainer - it's a contraption you hook to the back wheel of your bike so you an ride indoors. It's kind of like spin class on your own bike. Ok it is exactly like a spin class on your own bike without the features of an actual class: i.e. other people, an instructor, accountability. So, now I'm on the lookout for videos/apps/sheer motivation to ride this thing on my own as needed because it's too dark to ride at night. I will pray that the weather continues to be lovely on the weekends so I can ride for real . . .

3 hours on a trainer?? Shoot me now. Luckily Strava just introduced some training videos if you join their Premium plan. I'll take a chance on you for $59.99, Strava.

Stupid Treadmill/Headlamp
Darker nights means - it's treadmill time! I joined a new gym a few months ago, so now I have new faces to stare at while I'm running in place. Time to make winter friends at the gym! I also found my reflective running gear during the closet reorganization and just need to dig out that pesky headlamp.

Cold Swims
This is by far my biggest fear of winter. Swimming when it's cold. Sure, the pool is usually warm but the daunting thought of wearing a swimsuit outside when it's cold then jumping into a chlorinated vat is agonizing. I shouldn't complain - this is California after all. But, it's not easy to find an indoor pool here. And 40 degrees is still 40 degrees. Dark is still dark.

The Good News
Winter will give me some new things to work on. I've decided to NOT train for a marathon in January and focus on some technique, strength training, and doing core workouts until I have rock-hard abs . . . (Rock-hard abs! There I go, dreaming again!). It's time to break it down.

Done. And. Done.

Back in June, I signed up for a 70.3 triathlon in Lake Havasu City, Arizona. I was right in the middle of training for Barb's, probably in my peak fitness for the year, hopped up on endorphins and post-workout recovery shakes. The organization was basically giving entries away, and I couldn't pass up a $75 entry fee. Plus it would be a good redemption race if Barb's didn't go well. My parents also live in Phoenix, so bada-bing, badda-boom - killing two birds with one stone (triathlon and visit).

Barb's went great! So, heading into marathon training, I kept up with at least one bike and at least one swim per week, mostly for my sanity, but also thinking I might do this late-season triathlon. It started to occur to me that this marathon might be my last serious event for the year.

After Chicago, it is clear. I'm done. My official "season" has ended, and there is no reason to do a half Ironman distance event in November. No. Freakin'. Way. So, I'm going to hang up my wet suit, allow my Garmin collect some dust, and use less laundry detergent over the next couple of months.

DONE.

This is not to say I won't be training through the winter, I just won't focus my attention to any major events, milestones, etc. My dream of doing core workouts until I have rock hard abs this winter is probably not a reality either. It never is.

After the past two years of longer events, I decided that 2014 would be the Year of the Short Course Triathlon! I am still getting a little faster, so I might as well use this momentum to answer the question, "How fast can I get?" before my body begins to slow down. Part of this goal was also to qualify for USAT (USA Triathlon) Olympic Age Group National Championships in 2014. I actually qualified for 2013, but I dismissed it like one of those "Who's Who Among American... blah blah blah" books in which your name is listed so you'll buy a stupid overly-priced book with thousands of names printed in it. Turns out, USAT Nationals is kind of cool, it's a PR-worthy course, you get to see a bunch of pros, hang out in Milwaukee, drink beer after - and I missed it.

Since I age up on December 31st to the 35-39 age group, Nationals seemed like a good goal for 2014. Plus, 35-39 year old women are beasts, so I'd have to train smart and really bring my A game.

As it turns out, my 3rd place finish at Pacific Grove qualified me for 2014!

AND. DONE.

So, now what's my big goal for next year?

Chicago in Pictures

Welcome to the Expo. It was like an Expo. Very large. Lots of people sampling Powerbar. Race Expos are like Ikea; I can never find my way out. I've given up and now just resort to asking directions to the closest exit.

Running with Kenyans. Because the real thing would never actually happen.

Running Buddy and me. Some friendly Wisconsin-ites took this picture for us.

We took an architectural boat tour of the city. The skyline has changed so much since I was last there.

See, totally different. (Circa 1998)

Here's the information my Nike app had for the marathon. Unfortunately it won't give me mile splits. It would be good to know where I totally lost it, but alas. I finished.

Post race in Grant Park

The next day our results were posted in the Chicago Sun Times, and we went to Lincoln Park for brunch. This is my running buddy with her flight of French toast. This Batter and Berries restaurant in Lincoln Park was the bomb.com.

Chicken and waffles made me late to the airport for my flight home.

I sat next to some more Wisconsin-ites and their yappy dogs at the airport. I was glad they were not on my flight. Seattle, beware of Nancy and Tom Johnson and their dogs Lady Bug and whatever the other one's name was.

A new pair of running shoes await my return to running in a week or so.

 I had a race day red pedicure for the marathon. Possibly the last picture of my toes with all of the nails. Goodbye long toe toenail! See you next spring!

Chicago Fun Facts (Marathon Recap)

The Four "F"s
According to the architectural city boat tour guide, there are four stars on the Chicago flag, each of which represents an important event in Chicago history. 1) The building of Fort Dearborn (Which was built to fight Native Americans, and was burned down later by Native Americans), 2.) The Chicago Fire of 1871 (Which was wrongly blamed on a cow.), 3.) Worlds Fair 1893, 4.) Worlds Fair 1933.

Sears, ahem, Willis Tower
When I was growing up in Illinois, the Sears Tower was the tallest building in the world. The now Willis Tower is only the 11th tallest building in the world, and I can never seem to remember it's new name. The only thing I can think of is, "What you talkin' about Willis?" but my guess is that Gary Coleman has nothing to do with the renaming of this landmark.

In The Hipster Hood
Chicago has really awesome neighborhoods that need to be further explored. Wicker Park was lovely, and I hear Logan Square is where you can hang out with some hipsters. I thought hipsters were a San Francisco phenomenon, but I guess I was mistaken. Hipsters are everywhere, and they are still younger and cooler than me (apparently).

Oh Deer!
The night before the race, my running buddy and I ate at an Italian restaurant in Wicker Park for the pre-race carbo-load. We both ordered a polenta, which was poured onto a marble slab to harden, before it was smothered in yummy sauce. My sauce of choice - venison bolognese. That's right. When in the Midwest, eat something Midwestern! Bambi's mother was delicious. (Sorry veg friends.)

Going The (Extra) Mile
I forgot my Garmin for the race, and ended up using the Nike Running App on my iPhone. The app calculated my run to be 27.3 miles. Yes, almost a whole additional mile. Now, these apps are not perfect. I've known people who went for a little swim and their device recorded their swim to be 3x around the earth, but I have a feeling I could have cut a few more corners and saved myself a good 8 minutes. Also, it would be nice to know my mile splits, but it doesn't calculate those, so all I know is my best mile was 7:16 (wow!), and my slowest 10:14 (ouch!). I think I can guess which miles those were...

Chicago Playlist Regrets
My Chicago music mix was fine, but honestly I felt like I missed out on some of the experience. The great thing about this big city race is the excitement of the fans along the race course. It was/could have been more amazing. So many people cheering! I don't think I'll use my iPod again for a race.

Chicago Is More Gay Than San Francisco
I've now run races through Castro and Boystown (the gay neighborhoods of San Francisco and Chicago), and it is clear - Chicago totally out-gayed San Francisco. Their aid station was the best the best one on the course; it was themed "marriage" and they had a barrage of people in wedding attire, drag cheerleaders, and gay members of the marine corp performing a rifle routine. I expect better of you next time, San Francisco!

Best signs
"Don't pants the poop!"
"Don't poop (out)!"
"You run better than our Government"

Worst signs
"Hey Kenyan, you only beat my husband, because I let you." (Yep, doubt it.)
"The Kenyans are already drinking beer." (I doubt they drink much beer, which may be part of the reason they run so fast.)
"Smile if you aren't wearing any underwear." (Ok, it was funny at mile 1, but not so much the 10th time at mile 21.)

She Don't Use Jelly
I've never seen so much Vaseline on a race course. Granted, I've only run one other marathon. But, at the aid station you could readily get some lubricant as easily as a cup of Gatorade. These kind souls of volunteers held out cardboard with slabs, or sticks with gobs of Vaseline so it was easily accessible for those who "felt the burn" in those last 10 miles. Kind of gross. I was glad to be well lubricated. Oh, I'm sorry. TMI?

Negative Self Talk, Then Euphoria
At mile 22 I pretty much wanted to stop. I hated running. I think I started talking to myself out loud, berating myself, "How could you do this? You are not ready!" I probably had about 30 minutes of negative self talk after the race, and I almost passed out while waiting in the ridonkulously long gear check line. A nice guy helped me to put some ice on my neck, and the feeling passed. The next morning, although sore, I was like, "So, when is the next race?"

Post-Race Beer, etc.
They serve beer in the finishing shoot, like, right after you finish. The last thing I wanted 5 minutes after crossing the finish line was a beer. Maybe 45 minutes later. Also, they call the after-party the 27th Mile Post-Race Party for a reason. We must have walked a mile to Buckingham Fountain. So tired. (No, this is not the reason for the extra mile on the running app.)

Personal Record
I beat my marathon best by 10 minutes and 17 seconds.

Rank
8,544th place out of 40,230 runners? I'll take it.

Race Injury
For the first time in my running history, I may be losing a toe nail. Although ugly, I feel this is somewhat a badge of honor. Thank goodness it's close-toe shoe season.

Santa Clara in Chicago
I saw two people from my days at Santa Clara University. First, Chad Eschman, soon-to-be-famous playwright who just had a show performed on Broadway. Also, John Sabine, who happened to be performing in the Second City Show I was watching! Blast from the past.

Lincoln Park = Late
My running buddy and I traveled way out to Lincoln Park for brunch, and waited in line before devouring (my) chicken and waffle and (running buddy's) flight of french toast. This place was worth it. I missed my flight too. Yep, missed my flight for chicken and waffles. Can't say that has happened before.